Who’s on the guest list?

Finalising Your Wedding Guests and Wedding Party

Finalising your wedding guest list is one of the biggest and most important steps when planning your big day. It can feel overwhelming but getting it right early on helps with everything from budgeting to venue choice and makes the whole planning process smoother.

Photograph taken at The Orangery: Kerry Ann Duffy 

Starting your guest list: Pen and paper or spreadsheet?

Some people swear by old-school pen and paper. There is something oddly satisfying about scribbling names out and organising your thoughts. Others prefer a spreadsheet breaking guests down into sections like immediate family, extended family, close friends, plus ones, work colleagues and more. This can be a great way to keep track of who is coming and help you stay realistic about numbers.

A useful tip is for both of you to make separate lists then combine them. This way you won’t accidentally miss anyone important and you get a full picture of everyone who should be invited. Plus it means less awkward moments later when someone wonders why they didn’t get an invite.

Remember your guest list will influence which venues can accommodate you and your loved ones. If you’re thinking about 200 guests but a venue only holds 150 you’ll need to reconsider. That is why finalising your numbers before booking is key.

Plus ones, work colleagues, kids and pets

Plus Ones Inviting plus ones can get complicated. If you haven’t met someone’s partner it can feel odd having them at your wedding. Some couples opt to invite only established relationships while others are happy welcoming guests and their dates. It is your day so do what feels right for you.

Work Colleagues Depending on how close you are and your work environment you may want to invite some colleagues to the evening party only. This can avoid awkwardness and keep the ceremony intimate while still including those you spend a lot of time with.

Kids Deciding whether to have children at your wedding is a big choice. Some couples love having kids around giving them roles like flower girl or ring bearer. Others prefer an adults only celebration to keep the atmosphere relaxed and avoid any unexpected kid moments. If you do decide to exclude children there are polite and even fun ways to let guests know like including a note that says “Put on your dancing shoes and enjoy a kid free night out with us!”

Fur Babies Many couples want their beloved pets to be part of the day. Whether as ring bearers or just a sweet guest pets are welcome at many venues with some guidelines. Just be sure to chat with your event manager and have someone responsible for your furry friend.

Your wedding party: How many is just right?

How many is too many? Some prefer a small intimate group of a few close friends or family while others go all out with large bridal parties. It often comes down to balance and logistics. Consider your venue’s space, the vibe you want and how you will feel surrounded by your crew.

Traditional roles like maid of honour and best man are still popular but modern twists are everywhere. You might have a best woman, man of honour, flower men or even beer boys handing out drinks. The important thing is to include people who truly support and celebrate you.

Photograph taken at Bilsington Priory: Michael Newington Gray

Navigating family dynamics

Many couples now navigate separated parents, step parents or loved ones who sadly can’t be there. Beautiful gestures like leaving an empty seat with a photo or meaningful item or honouring absent family during the ceremony can make the day feel complete and heartfelt.

Invitations and RSVPs: Keeping everyone in the loop

Sending save the dates about 9 to 12 months ahead gives guests plenty of notice especially for summer or destination weddings. Formal invitations usually go out 4 to 6 months before the day with RSVP deadlines set 6 to 8 weeks ahead of time. This helps you finalise numbers for catering, seating plans and the all important final details meeting with your venue.

Finalising your guest list and wedding party can feel like a big challenge but with a clear plan, honest conversations and a little bit of humour, you’ll create a wedding that truly feels like yours.

Watch episode 2 of our Glow Up Your Wedding podcast, for helpful advice, real talk and friendly tips on starting your wedding planning journey.

And if you’re ready to take the next step, book a viewing at one of our stunning Kent venues, we’d love to show you around and hear all about your ideas.